Date Night with Jesus
Since San Diego Summer Project I've tried to keep a date night with Jesus as a fixture in my weekly agenda. It can sometimes feel hard to do as my planner seems to be bursting at the seams with unmet people and events yet unplanned. Yet, I've decided that I want to live out my convictions that Jesus time can't be pushed aside, but if I truly want to grow in my relationship with Jesus, we're going to need a date night. And because things are more fun when other people are involved (no, I'm not extroverted...why do you ask?) I've gathered a group of ladies to have a group date. Nothing is better in my mind than getting to catch up on life, spend time with Jesus, and then re-cap all you talked about with Jesus. It's my favorite night of the week, I think I can safely say. And it always blows my mind that when I really do sit down to meet with Jesus, He doesn't stand me up. Ever.
This past Sunday the Lord pressed it on my heart that I need to seek Him just to find Him. That I get so lost in a functional identity...that I am so caught up in being an MTL or Cru Staffer that I start to think that's who I am. And I find myself using God to get what I'm really looking for: being good at my job, making eternal differences, and teaching people all God has taught me so their lives can be changed and I can be a part of that. But the problem with this is that I'm seeking secondary blessings as primary objectives. I used Jesus as a means to the end of getting what I'm really looking for: what I really think life is found. He can help me be the person I want to be.
The tragedy is that I miss out on what I was created for. My creator. I settled for lesser identities and blessings and miss the source of...well....everything. I miss out on Him. And so it has been my prayer that I will seek Jesus just to find Him. That I'll see that He is the object of my faith. That I was rescued to be His, and that I am what He longs to enjoy for eternity and vice versa. So tonight I asked the Lord to help me just seek Him. Not seek Him to teach me something that I can use in a women's time, an insight I can bring into my disciple's lives, or a good story for a Cru talk. Just. Him. And you know what I found. You can have an actual relationship with Jesus.
One of my favorite things in the world is to ask people questions. I love to get to know people, to figure out how they tick, what makes them the person they are, and to psycho-analyze them, as I've been accused of doing. But in my 14 years of knowing God, I've rarely asked Him a question personally. I mean, I've asked lots of questions: "Why did you let that happen? What does this passage mean?" and so on. But I've rarely asked Him about...Him. "What was it like for your first children to reject you? Was it heartbreaking to have to curse them, knowing that it would make things hard for a really long time?"
Then I read some scripture about His presence. Psalm 100:2 says, "come to His presence with singing". I then asked if I always had to sing when I entered His presence and if He finds my opera voice as funny, endearing and delightful as I do? I think He does. We had a nice chuckle about that.
There was a lot more there, too. A picture that gave a deeper hope and understanding that I'm kind of in a long-distance relationship with Jesus right now. He's in heaven, I'm in earth. (It is a little more complicated than that because I am indwelt with His Holy Spirit, but what relationship isn't a little complicated?). But I get to hear from Him, talk w/Him, experience Him, read His words, etc. I'm experiencing Him, but in a long-distance engagement kind of way. Then I pictured what it'd be like to see Him face to face. That nervous excitement that would come as I entered His house. Knocking on the door, what would it feel like to be with Him. Really with Him. And as I entered His presence, I was completely exposed. More undone and known that I've ever been. It is a horrifyingly freeing experience...to be known completely. And I've never been so loved, nor have I felt so complete. Everything I've been longing for, all I've been missing, all I've been seeking: found in His presence. And as I am with Him, for the first time I don't want to be anywhere else. No place could possibly be better than right there. With Him. My soul is finally satisfied and I never want to leave. And I never have to. Because I get to be with Him, in His presence, for the end of time. Everything I've been waiting and longing for is now fulfilled. And that is what I have to look forward to.
This relationship with God is simply the coolest thing I could ever imagine. And it's real. And my prayer is that I will seek Jesus just to find Him, truly convinced that nothing is better than His presence. So, all that said, I'm a big fan of date nights with Jesus. It's amazing that Jesus gives us all of Himself. And I'd love to return the favor.
This past Sunday the Lord pressed it on my heart that I need to seek Him just to find Him. That I get so lost in a functional identity...that I am so caught up in being an MTL or Cru Staffer that I start to think that's who I am. And I find myself using God to get what I'm really looking for: being good at my job, making eternal differences, and teaching people all God has taught me so their lives can be changed and I can be a part of that. But the problem with this is that I'm seeking secondary blessings as primary objectives. I used Jesus as a means to the end of getting what I'm really looking for: what I really think life is found. He can help me be the person I want to be.
The tragedy is that I miss out on what I was created for. My creator. I settled for lesser identities and blessings and miss the source of...well....everything. I miss out on Him. And so it has been my prayer that I will seek Jesus just to find Him. That I'll see that He is the object of my faith. That I was rescued to be His, and that I am what He longs to enjoy for eternity and vice versa. So tonight I asked the Lord to help me just seek Him. Not seek Him to teach me something that I can use in a women's time, an insight I can bring into my disciple's lives, or a good story for a Cru talk. Just. Him. And you know what I found. You can have an actual relationship with Jesus.
One of my favorite things in the world is to ask people questions. I love to get to know people, to figure out how they tick, what makes them the person they are, and to psycho-analyze them, as I've been accused of doing. But in my 14 years of knowing God, I've rarely asked Him a question personally. I mean, I've asked lots of questions: "Why did you let that happen? What does this passage mean?" and so on. But I've rarely asked Him about...Him. "What was it like for your first children to reject you? Was it heartbreaking to have to curse them, knowing that it would make things hard for a really long time?"
Then I read some scripture about His presence. Psalm 100:2 says, "come to His presence with singing". I then asked if I always had to sing when I entered His presence and if He finds my opera voice as funny, endearing and delightful as I do? I think He does. We had a nice chuckle about that.
There was a lot more there, too. A picture that gave a deeper hope and understanding that I'm kind of in a long-distance relationship with Jesus right now. He's in heaven, I'm in earth. (It is a little more complicated than that because I am indwelt with His Holy Spirit, but what relationship isn't a little complicated?). But I get to hear from Him, talk w/Him, experience Him, read His words, etc. I'm experiencing Him, but in a long-distance engagement kind of way. Then I pictured what it'd be like to see Him face to face. That nervous excitement that would come as I entered His house. Knocking on the door, what would it feel like to be with Him. Really with Him. And as I entered His presence, I was completely exposed. More undone and known that I've ever been. It is a horrifyingly freeing experience...to be known completely. And I've never been so loved, nor have I felt so complete. Everything I've been longing for, all I've been missing, all I've been seeking: found in His presence. And as I am with Him, for the first time I don't want to be anywhere else. No place could possibly be better than right there. With Him. My soul is finally satisfied and I never want to leave. And I never have to. Because I get to be with Him, in His presence, for the end of time. Everything I've been waiting and longing for is now fulfilled. And that is what I have to look forward to.
This relationship with God is simply the coolest thing I could ever imagine. And it's real. And my prayer is that I will seek Jesus just to find Him, truly convinced that nothing is better than His presence. So, all that said, I'm a big fan of date nights with Jesus. It's amazing that Jesus gives us all of Himself. And I'd love to return the favor.
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