What makes me old...

I can't quite put my finger on it, but there have been several occasions when I have felt quite old...or, should I say, mature, lately. Maybe it's because my 10 year high school reunion just passed. Or, perhaps it is because I work with college students and am constantly being asked, "Oh, are you a junior?" Now, I find this flattering (kind of...I'm sure I will in 10 years, anyway) but when they ask this question, I know things are about to get really weird. You know that weird, don't you? That weird where you're in a small group discussion and "that guy" shares something WAY too personal. Or, the weird when someone plays Boyz 2 Men's "I'll Make Love to You" at the father/daughter dance at a wedding. See, even my pop culture references scream that I'm getting older...a little more irrelevant to the culture I'm surrounded in. Even the fact that I'm using capitalization sells me out. Anyway, when sweet Fantasia the freshman asks me if I'm a junior, I smile politely, shrug my shoulders a little, and apologetically say, "Well...I'm actually on staff with Cru. I was actually a freshman 10 years ago." The subsequent looks are reminiscent of the way you look at that small black object you find on your carpet. Is it a bug? Lint? Black jelly bean? Chocolate Chip? All you know is you don't know how to react properly...if it's a bug...scream! Squish it! But, if it's a chocolate chip...score!

Well, all that said, the reason I'm back to blogging for the night is because I've been keeping an ongoing list of all the ways I'm realizing I'm not in college anymore. These are signs that I'm getting older...or, "maturing".

1. I wear a bike helmet. Yes, this was the first sign that I was getting older. I've recently taken up cycling and really enjoy it. The selling point for me was the fact that I can ride my bike for hours and actually clear my mind and think. Many of my friends say they love running for that very reason, but my experience in running has been quite different. Usually the only thing I'm thinking is "Is this over yet? I know I was going to run for 30 minutes but 20 is probably ok, right? Man, I hate running." Those aren't quite the relaxing thoughts. Not to mention, I now have completely bit it not once, not twice, but THREE times on the same uneven sidewalk at the outskirts of my neighborhood. I've gone flying superman-style into a stranger's front yard, and the best part of all? They have actually been pulling into the driveway 2 times as I was falling. Seriously, what are the odds of that. Well, no worries. I just brushed myself off and kept running like a champ, leaving with only a couple bruises-my hand and my pride.

Anyway, in my old age I've decided I need to have the proper equipment for whatever hobby I've picked up. Swimming? Goggles, new lap suit, swim cap? Check, check, check. Biking? Well, I'm still as frugal as a college student, so I'm using an old bike lock, a water bottle I got for free at a Colt's game I won tickets to, and a borrowed bike helmet from my sweet friend who moved away and left me with it. And, I wear that helmet every time I go out on the bike. (I also named my bike "Star Jones". Why?

A.) I find it amusing to give things full names, much like Loralie Gilmore had a dog named "Paul Anka".

B.) She's a Trek, so her full name is "Star Jones Trek". Extra dork points? Yes.

In jr. high, high school, or college, I would have been caught brain-dead before I was seen in public with a helmet on. I would cruise all over Greensburg on my bike...across the bypass, down Lincoln and Main Streets, down to On Cue to pick up the latest "Big Bop" magazine. When my mom would ask me to sport the helmet for my safety, the helmet that matched my hunter green bike, I refused saying, "Cool kids don't wear helmets!". And, I had a point. Let's be honest here... no matter what trendy design, sleek shape, or ergonomic design the helmet has, it's still a helmet. Helmets are inherently dorky and there really is no getting around this. But, I've gotten to the point that I value my personal safety and health over my "coolness" factor. I wear that helmet biking through campus, through the village, and all over Muncie. I know I look like a huge dork, but, I really don't care. I'm also riding in lots of traffic and I've had several friends get hit by cars. I'm just not willing to chance it. And as I was riding around campus to the village to visit some friends, passing the cool college kids rocking their non-helmet look I realized...I'm getting older, aren't I?

Well, that's not the only reason I've felt old. And that brings us to reason #2.

2. I made a land-line reference the other day. I get to hang out with college students for a living and tell them about Jesus. It's really the best job in the world. And, I get the fun treat of getting to do ministry in the dorm I lived in and did ministry in for over 3 years while I was a student. Well, the other day I was in the basement of Lafollette meeting with a freshman girl and I really wanted to connect with her about being a freshman in the ghetto. I also think there is something about the beginning of a school year that makes me really nostalgic... reminiscing about the good old days when I, too, was a nervous and excited freshmen. Well, there I was with sweet Kennedy, talking about how I lived in my freshman year, probably getting asked if I was a junior, when I mentioned the perils of potluck roommates. Now, I had a great roommate and I really am grateful for her. However, I didn't know how to handle her boyfriend being in her room all the time. And to emphasize how frequently he was in our room, I may have said, "Yeah, he was in there so much that his mom would call our room to find him." And as I was saying that sentence, I realized a really important difference in generations. See, they don't have landlines in dorms anymore. No one calls the dorm room, no one has an answering machine that they spent hours recording the perfect "roommate message" that would make them seem both witty and worth dating. And it was that comment that solidified for not only the sweet freshman girl, but also my delightful first year intern, that I am from a different time. Since I was already in the hole, I decided to let them know that I didn't get a laptop until I graduated from college. This blew their minds!

The last reason I'll give you for tonight because I'm getting a little tired and I have a few pertinent plans is this.

3. Tonight my bstud girls invited me to go with them to a house full of single guys and I declined for the following reasons:

A.) It was 11:30pm and it seemed way to late to be going out again.

B.) All I wanted to do was put on my pj's, sit alone in my room, light my Slatkin & Co. pineapple mango candle, pop in "You've Got Mail", write a blog about being old, and respond to my eharmony matches.

So, there you go. I could write more posts about gray hair, being worried about people having proper heath insurance, calling my insurance agents (aka-my parents) about the coverage on a car before I borrowed my friends car for a trip to Nashville, TN, caring about my 403B plan, etc.

But, the truth is I'm growing up, and to be honest...I love it. I love feeling comfortable in my own skin, knowing who I am and what I like; not feeling like I have to go out late, even when I'm tired just to prove that I'm fun. See, I can just be the woman the Lord has created me to be...dorky, old and all. And, if I'm being honest, even though I feel the age gap sometimes, I'm still pretty young at heart. And my bstud girls assure me I'm not too lame or old.